Letting Go and Starting Over

"Letting go is an act of strength and courage.

It helps healing begin, frees you of the weight of the past,

and opens doors to a new future." 

~~Stephanie Tourles, Lift Me Up

My mother's voice is screaming in my subconscious, trying to strangle me into the belief that I failed miserably in 2011.  I did not complete my reading challenges.  I did not get 50K written during either Camp NaNoWriMo session, nor during November--in fact, I don't believe I got 50K written on my novel this year.  I did not make, much less post, a lot of cards--even my best friends did not receive handmade birthday greetings (some were lucky to get a quick e-mail acknowledging their big day).  I did not lose weight.  I did not pay off all my debt.  

Mother, I loved you, but your unrealistic expectations for me while you lived damn near drove me into insanity and helped encourage some really bad behaviors for years, so please allow me to kindly (but firmly) tell you to be quiet.  I'm grown and I make my own decisions (and accept the consequences of those decisions).

I hereby let go of the unfinished idealized list of accomplishments I had set for myself for 2011.  No more weighing myself down with regret or negative self-talk.  No more wallowing in what did not happen the way I wanted it to.

I did accomplish many things in 2011:

• Attended on-site training at my job (which helped me stay actively employed all year)
• Paid off one of five student loans
• Kept my Stampin' Up! demonstrator status active (and increased my customer base)
• Learned multiple new software programs
• Set up a complete wireless network in my apartment to maximize the connectivity of my work equipment to the company network (allowing me to continue to work remotely)
• Decreased my carbon footprint by decreasing my electrical usage in my home (even with record Texas summer heat)
• Replaced my microwave after accidentally almost starting a fire in it one night while I was busily writing
• Upgraded my laptop after managing to fry the hard drive in the old one

I also read for pleasure--primarily on my Kindle or my Kindle for Android app.  Between Paperback Swap and donations to my local public library, I succeeded in moving over 300 books out of my apartment.  On the other hand, I  brought in about 150 physical volumes because I still cannot seem to do historical research without actually highlighting passages and making margin notes LOL.

Speaking of historical research, I did a lot of it--and read quite a bit about the craft of writing and publishing (and about marketing yourself).  I didn't reach my goal of 100 complete books in this year, but I did manage to read portions of over 100--see, research to me doesn't always mean reading from beginning to end; some of the Civil War material I have accumulated may never be read cover-to-cover, but it is being read as necessary to help with accuracy for a specific scene.  The same with various texts on using software programs--most of these texts are getting used weekly and marked accordingly, yet only as the information is required.

Was I a success in 2011?  Why, yes--I may not be rich monetarily, or have a managerial position at my job.  I don't own a home or a car.  But none of these things define success for me.  I have friends.  I have a comfortable apartment and a lease until 2014.  I have a wonderful job with nice benefits.  I have my health.  I have a slowly increasing retirement savings account and a slowly decreasing debt load.  I have hope for both my future and the future of this great land (still the best place in the world to live). 

What else could a woman hope for?  My Blessings are many and my regrets for the past are very few.  With that attitude toward my future, my end of year message to my Mother's ghost is simply this--I am indeed a successful, happy human being full of delight in the present and ideas for the future. 

Here's to opening doors of wonder and delight for 2012!

I've Extended my Camping Trip

July's version of Camp NaNo kinda sucked...it started well, but the Texas heat plus my day job doing data entry made it very difficult for my right wrist/elbow/shoulder to allow extensive additional typing.  A series of surgeries over a decade ago left weaknesses in my right arm and while it usually causes me more trouble in extreme cold, this summer's extreme heat (today was--I believe--the 30th day in a row of 100 degree days; the second longest streak of consecutive days Dallas has seen) has totally worn out my arm.  (Extra weather trivia--the longest streak was in 1980; I was pregnant that summer with my youngest son, and pregnancy in this type of heat was no walk in the park either LOL.)

Okay--so little writing got done.  Not to be defeated permanently, I have changed tactics.  I'm allowing technology to help me for the August camp session.  I've loaded Dragon Naturally Speaking 11.5 onto both my personal computers, so I will be dictating "Louisiana Lightning" and hopefully be much more successful in "writing" 50K in 31 days.

I will confess that I did read a bit in July, and this past Thursday made time to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, Part 2.  I'll be adding the books I read to my challenge lists, and perhaps write reviews later.  The movie will receive its own review here soon.  Suffice it to say--I loved it!!  Thank heavens they split the last book...

July also started the new Stampin' Up! year and the new Idea Book & Catalog is the best I've ever seen!  Our Summer Mini catalog will end August 31, and the Holiday Mini will begin September 1 (I'll be able to post links then).  So, I'd love to be stamping and having fun--I miss my card challenges tremendously--and if the dictation works like I believe it will, my arm may allow some creating soon (I hope).

Stay as cool as you can, and I appreciate all my followers being so patient with me as I try to work thru health issues and get back to sharing online on a more regular basis.

"If You Can't Say Something Nice..."

Anybody old enough to be able to finish that phrase as it came out of your mother/grandmother's mouth?  If you wonder where I've been, life threw some curve balls recently. 

Because I understand the word "responsibility" to mean that I adjust my work schedule to help the company that pays my bills and buys my groceries, I just spent several weeks working odder than normal hours.  Blogging took a back seat, especially as I don't want to be known for ranting incessantly and recent American political events have certainly been rant-worthy in my eyes (although I did get quite a few laughs when Donald Trump attempted to make me take him seriously as a Presidential candidate).

I did get some enjoyment while away from the blogosphere--the Royal Wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge was absolutely breathtaking.  It was a real treat and so very different from the weddings of Prince Charles and Prince Andrew.  Yes, I'm a Royal watcher and not ashamed of it and feel that "The Firm" has learned much this past decade or so--the young Royals will serve Great Britain well (as long as Princess Beatrice picks a new designer for any future hats LOL).

And, I slipped in some historical fiction between work shifts--three wonderful novels set in the South during the American Revolution:  Paper Woman, The Blacksmith's Daughter, and Camp Follower.  All by Suzanne Adair, they can be read as stand-alone stories, but as they share characters, they work best read in order.  I loved them and can hardly wait for the next volume--without giving too much of a spoiler, she has created a villain that you absolutely love to hate.

My schedule at work may be returning to a sense of normalcy, so I hope to get back to regular posts--the Stampin' Up! catalog transition begins June 1st when the Last Chance Lists post in preparation for the July 1st launch of the 2011-2012 Idea Book and Catalog.  NaNoWriMo is holding summer camp this year--they'll be announcing more details on May 25...

Finally, I want to get back into my studio and participate in card challenges again (plus let's not even mention all the great movies coming out this summer), so I am quite grateful my job is allowing some time for some fun for the next few weeks.  Let's see if I can post some fun stuff here this summer ;-)

March Madness (or, Where I've Been and Why I Haven't Posted)

Wow, March is almost over and I only posted once :-(

My Muse is no longer missing, but she has been told to sit quietly in the corner for a bit longer while general living takes precedence. 

I'm over whatever crud I suffered from in February, which is good, because I spent a week this month cross-training at the office.  What an eye-opener!  I learned that I indeed still enjoy learning new things, but that absorbing information and putting it into daily practice are two very different things.  I also learned that I function much better in a solo environment (I had totally forgotten how loud a call center environment really is).  Yet another lesson is that it is much easier to keep a positive attitude about work when exposure to negative attitudes is kept to a bare minimum.

I also found a fantastic place to stay--Homestead Studio Suites.  Clean, neat, friendly staff, reasonable pricing, and even "green"...they use toilet tissue made from recycled paper and CFL bulbs in all the light fixtures.  The kitchenette was super clean and as I had a refrigerator, stove, microwave, toaster and coffeepot, I only ate out because I chose to and not because I had to.  I couldn't ask for anything more from a hotel, especially since the bus stop was right at the end of the driveway and there was a Walgreens as well as multiple restaurants within a block's walk. Next time, I may even remember to ask for the senior discount, since they consider 55 a senior (I didn't learn that until after I got home).  The only downside was the dearth of decent TV...they lean heavily toward ESPN and news channels.  Thank the Creator I had my Kindle with me LOL.

So, I read.  I've added the titles to my 100+Book Challenge list at the bottom of my blog and I may eventually review the titles, but this post is already lengthy.  And life will be changing even more in April; I was notified today that my schedule is changing at work.  No more Saturdays off.  Instead, I will be off Thursdays and Sundays.  It does break up my week and it provides a differential for the Saturday hours, so all in all I am looking for the Blessings.

While I will no longer be able to attend any Saturday educational seminars at the library, I will have weekday bus travel available to use the larger University libraries in the Metroplex.  Many of my friends are retired, so we can still get together for the occasional lunch.  Actually, the more I think about it, the better it sounds LOL.

March was a madcap month.  April will be a month of adjustment, so posts may still be a bit sporadic.  At least some of my down time in April will be dedicated to Royal-watching, so don't be surprised if my blog turns a bit British in the coming days...

Billy Boyle WWII Mysteries

One of the first books I downloaded after I bought my Kindle last year was "Billy Boyle: A World War II Mystery" by James R. Benn.  Granted, at the time, I was looking for free or very low-cost Kindle titles having just dropped a chunk of cash on the Kindle itself.  This looked interesting and was free at the time.  Now that I've read it, I'm hooked on the whole series (and they are definitely worth paying for).  Great action, just a hint of romance (not too much for male readers), strong characters, and lots of information on WWII incidents that are not at all well known.

Billy is an Irish police office in Boston when America enters WWII.  His mother is a distant relative of Mamie Eisenhower and believes that the family connection would be enough to keep Billy safe from harm if he could only join "Uncle Ike's" staff.  Then General Dwight D. Eisenhower is appointed Commander of the US forces in Europe.  Oops.  And since Billy just made Detective, "Uncle Ike" decides to use him for certain investigations best left way out of the limelight.  Oops again.  Even though Billy isn't the desk-job type, he hadn't planned on any of this.

I recently read the next three books in the series:  "First Wave", "Blood Alone" and "Evil for Evil".  Each could be read as a stand-alone although the character development from one volume to the next certainly enhances the series.  We travel WWII Europe from England to Norway to Algeria to Sicily to Ireland.  Each incident is based on actual wartime events. 

I don't write spoilers, but I do give praise when it is deserved, and this series deserves great praise.  I'll be reading "Rag and Bone" between now and September because "A Mortal Terror" launches then.  Somebody needs to make a movie/mini-series/TV series from these tales!

Sunday Snippet from the Sickbed

My plans for the past week or so were waylaid by the "crud"--no voice above a whisper, a throat that feels like it was scraped with sandpaper and then had acid poured down it, coughing until my chest hurts and I wet myself, fever that caused chills, stuffy ears that cause all noise to sound as if it is being heard through a muffler, no appetite (actually, that is a good thing if you are big like me LOL)--in other words, abject misery. 

The down side to all this?  No crafting because my brain did not want to function, therefore I missed several cardmaking challenges.  No energy to clean house, do laundry, grocery shop, or participate in any general living.  No research or writing on my WIP because my muse was as sick as my body.

The up side to this?  I could still work since I was not commuting and was also not exposing the whole office to whatever germs I have.  So, even though my customers heard a less than enthusiastic and softer than normal voice, they still got their accounts taken care of.  My company still had me available (even for overtime) since we were already short-staffed.  Because I could work, I saved my PTO for fun stuff (PTO=paid time off).  I even earned overtime pay ;-)

There was also one more up side--I read several wonderful books toward my reading challenges.  Reviews will be forthcoming on all of them, but I have at least added them to my 100+ Reading Challenge list (at the bottom of my blog).  (Reading is easy when you cannot sleep because you can't breathe or you keep coughing LOL).

I am really hoping to get a bit back into the groove of life this week...between starting to feel better and no (scheduled) overtime for the next couple of weeks, let's see if I can participate in a few challenges, read a few blogs, write a few lines, and take care of hearth and home.

William and Kate: A Royal Love Story

I freely admit it--I'm a royal watcher...I have followed the English monarchy to a greater or lesser degree ever since 6th grade when I found out that George Washington was a descendant of English kings.  The Windsors are people who are sometimes forced into boxes not of their own choosing and although they have riches and power, they are able to make the same human mistakes as the rest of us.

I watched the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer.  Prince Charles is an environmentalist after my own heart who has been forced to forge a distinct path for himself while awaiting a job he was born to but yet he would have to lose his mother in order to claim that job.  He married for dynastic reasons--she was not the love of his life, yet he did not choose the path his great-uncle David chose. 

Princes William and Harry are a new breed--they inherited "the Firm" through their father and their connection to the "common people" through their mother's brief example in their lives.  I follow their careers with interest--and yes, their love lives as well.

"William and Kate: A Royal Love Story" is but one of the books that has been published in the short time since the official engagement announcement, but it had already been in the works for quite some time.  It was a quick read--enjoyable and I'm sure as true as the recollections of the persons quoted (both named and anonymous).  I wish the two young people the best--living in a spotlight cannot be easy, but they seem to be forging a path for themselves as a couple who will do the best they can in their own way for their country...we can ask nothing more of any of us, right?

The Scarlet Pimpernel

Thanks to the Lauren Willig "Pink Carnation" series, I have gone back and rectified a serious error in my recommended reading list for high school and college.  Believe it or not, I never read many of the classics (tested out of several years of English and therefore missed many Literature classes).  This series, by Baroness Emmuska Orczy, was included in the "skipped" list until now.  I had seen the Leslie Howard movie version of course, as well as a TV adaptation once upon a time, but I'm happy to say, I've finally read the novel itself on Kindle (like many classics, it is free for various e-readers and probably as a PDF if you go looking; undoubtedly it would also be available on Paperback Swap).  This is being counted toward both my 100+ Book Reading Challenge and my Historical Fiction Challenge.

Wow.  Once you get past the period writing style (and the small errors in transcription), the story really moves quickly.  The plot line is short, sweet and to the point, and contains several false leads--I can see why the character became so well-loved and why so many adaptations have occurred.  I'll read the rest of the Baroness' novels to see what happened to the rest of the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel simply because they are fun reading, but I honestly like the Willig League of the Pink Carnation better ;-)

Not MIA yet...But Close (AKA Why I May NOT be Posting Much This Week)

We have snow and ice--it's 19 degrees right now, with a wind chill factor making it 9 degrees.  I've teased with a few folks this week that we are doing this on purpose here in North Texas so the Packers fans and Steelers fans will feel more at home next weekend for the big game; after all, it was sunny and 76 degrees here Sunday LOL.

As usual, weather like this keeps people from coming to work.  That's probably a good thing in some cases, since many folks here don't really understand the concept of "drive slowly and carefully in ice" and many more don't believe in "do NOT tailgate the driver in front of you". 

So, our already shorthanded office is limping along without our two closers until the weather clears.  When I finish this post, I will be going back to work (i.e., walking into the back room and logging back in) and will work by myself the last few hours we are open.  No craft projects made today and no reading done towards my challenges and no research done for my novel.  Oh, well.  Things could be much worse--I have said this before, LOL--I have a job I enjoy and the world's shortest commute (approximately 20 steps, depending on whether I'm leaving my kitchen, my living room, or my bedroom).

But, if I don't post for a day or two, I've not fallen off the face of the earth--I'm just doin' the day job that pays for the fun stuff LOL.  I'll be back as soon as I can--and until then, y'all stay warm, dry, and safe, won't you?

Unmasking the Black Tulip--Willig Does it Again!

It's all Lauren Willig's fault I stayed up until 3 AM this morning--her second hysterical historical about a spy network operating from England into France (and another from Bonaparte's France into England) had laugh-out-loud moments as well as present-day moans of self-recognition. 

Again,we read a book within a book.  Just as in "The Secret History of the Pink Carnation", we  travel back and forth 200 years--from England in 1803 (the spy networks) to England in 2003 (the researcher and her foibles).  As both settings build on those from "Carnation", I highly suggest this to be a series best read in order.

I was delighted to return to her finely-drawn characters and even more delighted that so many red herrings were in place.  The fact that a bit of license was taken with history does not detract in this series as nothing is so blatant as to be jarring, and enough historical accuracy is present that I now want to undertake a study of that period of French history (one of the periods I have had little interest in until now).  I also like the way that bodice-ripping romance shares the stage with mystery and intrigue--it's almost like getting two books for the price of one LOL.

I hate spoilers and refuse to write them, so I will say no more of the plot.  I will say that since I have book three, "The Deception of the Emerald Ring", currently on my shelf, I am having a very hard time going about my normal Sunday chores--grocery shopping, laundry, housecleaning, card crafting--because I so desperately want to begin the next adventure (this one is set in Ireland).  But general living does not get easier with postponement and with a probable 50+ hour work week ahead, I have chores to do...

More 2011 Reading Challenges--See My Left Sidebar

Peeking Between the Pages has set some fantabulous reading challenges for 2011 and I've featured them on my left sidebar, even though I may not participate in all of them.  "If I'm not participating, then why am I featuring?" you may be asking.  Well, two of the challenges--"Harry Potter" and "Outlander" are on my top ten all-time absolute favorite book series ever list and contain books I re-read (in order) on at least a bi-annual basis. 

I already plan to re-read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" before the final movie premieres this year (July 15), but may not be able to fit the other six into my schedule.  Some of my friends tease that I spend way too much time in the world of Jamie and Claire Fraser--"Outlander" novels are truly sagas and aren't particularly short, so I may revisit the latest, "An Echo in the Bone" since I now own the U.K. paperback version (autographed, no less!), but I may not re-read all of them--I'd really like to read some other historicals this year and I also need time to write my own books ;-)

My TBR mountain has included the books in the other three challenges for a while, however, so don't be surprised to see reviews here this year for the Earth's Children novels by Jean Auel, the Wilderness series by Sara Donati, and the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris.  I read the first two Auel's many years ago, loved them, but got sidetracked and never finished the series.  I also read the first Donati while in New Orleans but that series got interrupted by a rude hurricane called Katrina.  And although I own most of the Sookie series, and I love "True Blood" (the HBO adaptation), I've never taken the time to read them because I would obsessively read one right after the other; I keep putting other books ahead of these (like my current read-a-thon of the Lauren Willig series).

Reading books I already own is frugal entertainment.  Crossing books off my TBR mountain is an accomplishment.  Let's see how well I combine the two and see how many of these three challenges I can complete in 2011.

Who wants to join me?

The Secret History of the Pink Carnation

Just read my second historical of 2011 for the Historical Fiction Reading Challenge and the first of the Lauren Willig Reading Challenge I mentioned a few posts back.  Please don't try to categorize this book because it is a blend of different genres: swashbuckling adventure meets romance meets intrigue meets comedy meets chick-lit...man, what a ride!

It doesn't seem on first glance that the concept would work--a main character researching the past and reading the reference material she reads--but it does work and on a delightful level.  I try never to post spoilers when reviewing a book and I won't start now, but suffice it to say, I was reading along and seeing Errol Flynn and Leslie Howard and Olivia de Havilland meeting Natalie Portman and Emma Watson and Meryl Streep.

I'm not a big fan of chick-lit so I had hesitated reading this when a few friends had given the book short shrift.  They were SO wrong--once the actual historical portion began, I was in for a wonderful read.  I laughed and cried and giggled and bit my lip--this was just the kind of rollicking escape from reality I needed right now and I am so glad I have the second in the series sitting on the shelf, because I am starting "The Masque of the Black Tulip" tonight!

I'm on a Search for the Pink Carnation--Wanna Join Me?

Here's to the Lauren Willig Reading Challenge for 2011!  Serendipity is running rampant in my life in 2011.  As part of my reading for the Historical Fiction Challenge, I was already reading the first volume in this series, "The Secret History of the Pink Carnation" and I was loving every minute of it!  Now I find a reading challenge dedicated to the series?  What a wonderful coincidence!  So, of course I have joined and have committed to the entire series in 2011 (eight books in all).  Come over and join us, won't you?  And, now, I'm off to read some more...

Historical Fiction--A New Reading Challenge for 2011

Found this on a blog I already follow--Historical Tapestry, a great blog for fans of historical fiction--and since the top level, "Severe Bookaholism" only requires 20 books for the year, and since I write historical fiction and since I already read one in 2011 (THE EXILE by Diana Gabaldon), how can I not sign up for this? 

So, yesterday's post regarding THE EXILE--AN OUTLANDER GRAPHIC NOVEL will serve as my first entry for this challenge and I only have nineteen more to go LOL!

100+ Book Reading Challenge 2011--I Have Begun!

 

I mentioned this challenge in yesterday's post, but because I subscribe to the old adage that what you do on New Year's Day is what you will do all the next 364 days, I wanted to ensure I read for pleasure on 1/1/11--and I did.  Sign up and join us--all the details are on the sign-up page linked above and my reading list is currently housed at the bottom of my blog (until I can learn the art of setting up pages in Blogger).  There are other reading challenges listed here as well (the library challenge looks quite interesting and with as much research as I still have ahead of me, I may try that one as well; a book read for one challenge can also be counted for another).  But now to my first review of 2011--

I've never read a graphic novel; I tried comic books when I was younger but never got hooked.  However, when my beloved author Diana Gabaldon announced she was re-telling the story of Jamie and Claire Fraser from Murtagh's POV, I knew the time had come to "go graphic".  My autographed copy came during NaNo and I reluctantly put it away but I made sure I took time to honor it as my first read of 2011.  Once more, Diana did not disappoint.  Covering about the first third of OUTLANDER meant that it was a quick read (after all, the graphics are supposed to overshadow the story line, right?), but it was still superb--and the artist's renderings of Jamie and Claire and Black Jack are wonderful.  I will re-read this again simply to enjoy the drawings and also to catch the nuances between the depictions of Dougal and Murtagh and Kenneth.  OUTLANDER fans will not be disappointed, and newcomers to the series may enjoy a short peek into the saga.

So, one book down and 99 more to go...